cave canem

Cave Canem- Beware the Dog

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Les without Paul

I once read an article on word aversion. Having a word aversion means having an intense visceral hatred for a word. I clearly don't have any of those, because I refuse to acknowledge les as a real word. My spellchecker even puts a red squiggle under it, so I know I'm right.

I really, really, hate that...squirmy little non-word, and not even for the perfectly sensible reason that it's offensive. I'd happily call myself a fag or a dyke before ever allowing myself to be know.
What really baffles me, though, is that I've started to see people using it in a context that isn't even meant to be offensive. These people use it as a lazy shorthand for the word 'lesbian', apparently because three syllables are too many for their tiny little minds to hold on to all at once. Maybe they get tired of confusing 'lesbian' with 'Lebanese'. It must be an easy mistake for them to make.

Bitter? I'm not bitter. You're bitter. Shut up.

So, what do I hate about this..."word"? Just say it. Mouth it quietly to yourself. Lez. It seems to pull your mouth into a sneer of disgust. It tastes slimy. It's an ugly yellow smear on the tongue, without the pretty little dot of blue in 'lesbian' or the nice woody brown guitar connotations of 'Les Paul' (an excellent instrument that I have no quarrel with whatsoever. Keep doing what you're doing, Gibson). Basically, the word 'les' is just gross. It's a nasty, dirty little syllable. Its use should be immediately discontinued and its existence should be wiped from the English language. For that matter, any other attempts to shorten the word 'lesbian', such as 'lesbo' or 'lezzie', in whatever context, derogatory or not, will earn the full force of my ire and probably a punch in the face or something. Basically, fuck that word.

/End rant/

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